And probably will be for a long while. This blog of mine is 95% personal and I have been ignoring it because of some current difficulties in life so far. It has been emotional, yes, and I am unsure of how long it will take before I accept it, but I will never get over it.
All I can say is, love is probably the most challenging thing for me in life so far. Even more challenging than my studies combined for the past 19 years of my existence.
I know I found him and I don’t want to let go because I am sure I’m way beyond infatuation. We’ve been through hard times and he’s the one that I feel the most comfortable with ever in my life. He’s the closest thing I have as a best friend and I value him way more than that.
I’m willing to bet my everything that this is love and I’m willing to wait, even if it is painful. I have to realise love is not all about the ups, and the downs will always lead to more happiness.
Sigh. I think I went overboard.
But I had to release some of my feelings.
I don’t know when I will be back. Probably when everything is ok, or when I need to release more of my unwanted feelings, or maybe when he stops loving me. I don’t know…
This is the most emotional thing that’s ever happened in my life. It’s worse than me losing myself and my identity, cause now, I know what I want but I can’t have it.
